Chapter 6
The little overhang that allowed them to see over the busy Los Angeles streets and a piece of the Pacific Ocean was breathtaking to Khrystine. The cars appeared as little metal thumbtacks, the roads as little gray pieces of ribbons, edged in peach, capped off by the most beautiful teal blue she’d ever seen.

She’d been in this grand city nearly a year and she’d never seen a view of it like this. Dylan was right. She needed to take time to smell the roses.

“Dylan, this is truly breath taking. I love the view. I could stare at this for hours,” she said looking below.

“I can, and do. I come here when I want to think. And I’ve never bothered sharing it with anyone else. You look like the type to appreciate a great view,” said Dylan.

“Oh I do I always have. I spent many, many hours looking out the picture window in the living room when I was growing up. We had a lakeshore view. Really beautiful,” added Khrystine.

“What really? I grew up on the water too. Well my backyard was on the water anyway. I was a New Jersey boy, and grew up in a neighborhood that had been a fishing community in days gone by. By the time my parents landed there, it had been transformed into a lower middle class neighborhood. No fancy lakeshore view like yours, but I always loved to look at the water,” added Dylan.

“Well I wouldn’t say it was fancy, it was just a lovely view,” added Khrystine.

“You don’t have to be extra modest around me Khrystine. I mean, you look like you grew up in money, to me you did, and it’s really not a big deal that you grew up rich and I grew up poor unless you make it one,” he added thoughtfully softly.

“It’s not a big deal to me Dylan. You deal within the cards you are dealt with, and I’d say you’ve done well. You’re far from poor now. You have wealth beyond your wildest dreams, up and beyond probably anything I’ll ever achieve,” added Khrystine.


“Yeah, maybe but aside from the bike, the car, and a few very expensive guitars I’m just a poor Jersey boy. I don’t really seek to adore myself with wealth. But I’m cool with that, as long as you are. When I was really young I wanted to come from the other side of the tracks like you did, drive a big hog sports car to school and stuff. I got older and I realized that all those people in the other neighborhoods, they don’t have stuff figured out either,” he added softly.

“Well we did. We had stuff figured out. Above and beyond anything, my family, we love eachother. And family comes first. I’d do anything in the world for my mommy, and daddy and my sisters and brothers,” added Khyrstine.

“I believe it. You look like they mean the world to you just speaking about them,” he added moving closer to her.

She was glad, she wanted to seal the distance between the two of them. There needed to be something else to care the world about outside of her family, and she noticed how empty her previous statement seemed as she felt a chill come over the cliff at the same time.

“What means the world to you Dylan,” asked Khyrstine, cocking her head to the side.

“To me? I never really thought about it. I think about a lot of things. A really sweet sounding guitar solo. Moments of solitude. A true friend. That means the world,” added Dylan.

“What about your family? They don’t mean the world to you,” asked Khyrstine.

“Well they mean a lot to me, as most people’s families do, but I can’t live my life through them. I love them to death, they are important to me. I visit my Jersey home often, but all our ideals don’t match up. I don’t believe and think the same way as my parents do. Khrystine you make me think. I haven’t thought this much about what means something to me in years,” chuckled Dylan.

“It’s good to think. You don’t get along with your parents? I mean we all have our big fights, and stuff, I had the fight when I left college to pursue music. I had the fights when I went into rough neighborhoods to sing, but through it all we really love each other, and have a healthy relationship. I mean I know this is a weird conversation Dylan, but I always wonder about people who don’t get along with their families,” she added softly.

“We get along Khrystine, it’s just rather complicated. And you really wouldn’t understand, trust me,” added Dylan.


“How do you know I wouldn’t understand,” inquired Khrystine.

“Well we had the usual arguments when I was growing up, about me putting my energies into something besides playing the guitar. About cutting my hair, and about finding something practical to do with my life, about picking the same value system as they have. Now I don’t know your family but they seem different than mine. They seem like even though they don’t agree with your choices, they respect your choices and let you figure out stuff on your own,” added Dylan.

“I don’t know if it’s that as much as I’ve never really gone against the grain of the life they want me to lead. I know that’s sad and I’m twenty-one, but I really haven’t…outside of music. And if it doesn’t work out, we all know what I’ll do. Go get two degrees and go right out and marry a doctor, or a lawyer, or an insurance agent or a real estate developer. That’s why this has to work out for me,” chuckled Khrystine gesturing around herself.

She only then stopped to notice how boring her life would be already if her music career had not become successful.

“Hmm, well see that’s where you and I differ. After a while I stopped wanting to cut my hair. And playing the guitar, I didn’t want to stop throwing my life into that…heck I’m as good with a guitar as I am with my hands, and as far as basing what I think about life, and who will be going to the hereafter on what someone else thinks, I can’t do that,” chuckled Dylan.


“So what else is important to you besides family and God. And what’s this, every time I’ve seen you you’ve been wearing it, and it intrigues me,” he added reaching for the locket around her neck.

***


When he tried to reach for it, he knew it was a mistake. She clutched it back to her breast, flicking her dark hair over her shoulder.

“Don’t touch it. It’s a gift, and I don’t want anything to happen to it. Someone gave it to me long ago,” she said defensively.

Her eyes narrowed and they looked watery. He didn’t want to pursue the statement and upset her, and yet he felt compelled to comfort her.

“Well whoever gave it to you, they must be a pretty special person to you, because you wear it all the time. It’s really beautiful,” he added gently.

She seemed to be a slightly defensive person, but rather than incite this self-protective mechanism, he decided to react in a gentle manner.

“Well thank you. Listen Dylan. I’m sorry I just snapped at you, but this is hard for me. I mean, I don’t even know why I’m showing you this, I don’t know you but look,” she said whipping it open for him to see.

In the silver casing, between to halves of a heart were two photographs, one of a good looking fair-skinned black boy, wearing what appeared to be a football uniform, the other of Khrystine and the same young man, wearing what looked like to be prom clothes.

“Ah, so that’s your boyfriend…it must be really hard being on the road and away from him,” added Dylan softly. He gently patted her shoulder.

Now he understood her defensiveness and he reluctance to be more than friends. She had romantic ties still linked to her heart back at home. Then he felt a rush of guilt because her soft, smooth ebony skin felt so good under his fingertips. He’d never felt anything as soft as her shoulder, no telling what the rest of her skin felt like.

“He was my boyfriend. He passed away. Three days before graduation, I…”her words dissolved into tears.

She turned her back to him. He supposed she didn’t want him to see her cry. With a start she got up and started walking in the direction of the car.

“Wait,” he added gently grabbing her shoulders.

He rubbed them softly from behind. He wanted to comfort her, and he felt guilty as his arousal was creeping to the surface even in the midst of her painful revelation. He felt like a predator. He shouldn’t be longing for her, but supporting her, what was wrong with him? Obviously she was still rather bothered by his death because it only took his grabbing of her locket to bring it to the surface. Then his heart ached, her heart was still sore for him after five years. He didn’t know what to say or to do, but he did want to help her feel better.

“Let me go, I need to get some air,” she half muttered.

“No, you don’t…you need to let yourself grieve, Khrystine,” said Dylan.

“What do you know about grief? You can’t know about grief. The kind of grief that I feel, five years Dylan, its been that long and I still hurt for him. I still cry and pray that I’ll wake up this morning, and it’ll have been a bad dream. Lance and I were going to get married you know? I mean, he gave me a ring, I had to wear it on a chain, my father wouldn’t let me wear it on my finger. He said we were too young to get married, but we could get engaged later and we’d have the biggest wedding this side of California,” said Khrystine.

“Yeah, you are right, I don’t know what any of that is like. I have no idea what it’s like to be in your shoes, in love with someone who gets tragically killed. It sounds very painful. But if you keep running from that pain, and you can’t even talk about it to people who care, it’ll never heal. Let me care Khrys,” he said turning her around to face him.

“It’s all gonna be okay…” he murmured pulling her into his chest.

Her shoulders shook and he caressed her gently. It was hard, even though she cried not to want to reach down and kiss her, but that was the selfish part of him, the part of him with an even more aching attraction to her now that she’d shown that she wasn’t larger than life after all. She was a normal woman with her own set of strengths and vulnerabilities. And she loved deeply, still crying for a love five years lost.

His t-shirt was wet with her tears, and he felt her nails piercing his shoulders through his leather jacket, flushed with the awareness that she was hugging him, and struck with grief about the circumstances of the hugging.

“I’m sorry, I need to get it together. I can’t be so darn sensitive all the time. I wear it to remind myself of him. It’s not always this bad, but last night, I thought of him, so today it hurts I guess,” she added with a soft sniffle, trying to release herself from his grip.

“No, you need someone to hold you now. Have you ever had a good cry about this, a really decent cry?” added Dylan.

“Yeah, by myself,” added Khrystine.

“No, you need to share you grief with someone, well no wonder its been bothering you so deeply,” he added softly.

“You can’t just run up to people and say, what’s up I miss my dead boyfriend, they’ll think you are a weirdo,” she said half chuckling at her own joke.

“I wasn’t suggesting that, but does he have family? Do you talk to them about how much you miss him? Did you tell your parents, that family you love so much,” added Dylan.

“Well yeah I guess we’ve talked about it, but not a lot of tears. We’re so, dignified, when it comes to that kind of stuff. And I don’t wanna make his mom and his sister sad. We talk about the happy times. But, I don’t know. Dylan this is a weird conversation to be having,” she said finally extracting herself from his arms.

“Maybe it is. But you are still hurting, I can see it in your face. No one really close to me has ever died. I can imagine if someone close, a lover had died, it would be pain too great to imagine. I’ll tell you one thing, he was lucky to have known you when he did. And I don’t know what I think about the hereafter, but he was probably very proud you were his girl. He would also probably be very happy that you still loved him so much,” added Dylan.

“Well I feel crazy for hurting so still, and I feel like I’ve said too much I’m embarrassed,” she said hiding her face behind her hands.

He saw her do this more than once now, and it was a trait he found cute. Even all tears she was still very beautiful, her hair disheveled, and lips fuller than usual.

“Don’t feel crazy Khrystine. I mean, you’re practically a widow, I don’t know what it’s called when a girl’s boyfriend dies. That doesn’t happen often, and it has to be touching. Just remember there are people here now, that care about you, and want to see you happy,” he added softly.

“Dylan, thank you,” said Khrystine with a soft smile through her tears.

“No thank you. Thanks for coming to that show. Thanks for showing up at the party, and thanks for being here now. It’s great to get to know you,” added Dylan.

“It’s great to get to know you too,” said Khrystine.

He cleaned up the trash, took her hand and escorted her back to the car.

- posted by Mahogany @ 10:14 AM